Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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