i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
whose parrot is this?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
