tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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