I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
