I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
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Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
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I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.