By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.