so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
