her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
