I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
