I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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