i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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