I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
