the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize