Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Randomize
