Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
