BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
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