we're blogging at a bar
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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