The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
