actually, I'm a sock model
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
