Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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