I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize