11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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