Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
