the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
