He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
