I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
