I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
