i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize