Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
