TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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