did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im holly from the hills drunk
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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