I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
