oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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