called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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