Joe is yelling at the trees again.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
