There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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