I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
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if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Drunk is not a location!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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