Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
