why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
