she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
