We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
