I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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