I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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