i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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