Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me

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(616): I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me http://tfl.nu/7pn8

Replies (8) Good night (2767) Bad night (876)
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(330): View more from Ohio

no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce

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(330): no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce http://tfl.nu/rmcp

Replies (22) Good night (841) Bad night (3069)
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(845): View more from New York

What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...

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(845): What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank... http://tfl.nu/1rf9

Replies (59) Good night (806) Bad night (5154)
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(616): View more from Michigan

You are an asshole

(574): View more from Indiana

haha sleeping beauty awakes.

(616): View more from Michigan

Where did you find this costume?

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(616): You are an asshole (574): haha sleeping beauty awakes. (616): Where did you find this costume? http://tfl.nu/m4ai

Replies (32) Good night (12454) Bad night (930)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

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(306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp

Replies (9) Good night (7772) Bad night (1017)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...

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(313): Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts... http://tfl.nu/l45c

Replies (6) Good night (2123) Bad night (1826)
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(408): View more from California

My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?

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(408): My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know? http://tfl.nu/68pr

Replies (8) Good night (2493) Bad night (1151)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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(602): I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!? http://tfl.nu/p185

Replies (8) Good night (887) Bad night (2229)
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(713): View more from Texas

I want to celebrate with you...

(214): View more from Texas

There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.

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(713): I want to celebrate with you... (214): There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner. http://tfl.nu/n2zn

Replies (3) Good night (1625) Bad night (623)
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(518): View more from New York

The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

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(518): The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke. http://tfl.nu/afl9

Replies (6) Good night (544) Bad night (2518)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.

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(541): Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body. http://tfl.nu/3ysy

Replies (7) Good night (1934) Bad night (476)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.

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(618): I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list. http://tfl.nu/7l9z

Replies (7) Good night (1089) Bad night (473)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!

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(978): Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab. (617): What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family! http://tfl.nu/wlta

Replies (16) Good night (3935) Bad night (728)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

Is this the acid talking?

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(256): Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive. (1-256): Is this the acid talking? http://tfl.nu/txi2

Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (427)
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(619): View more from California

Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.

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(619): Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop. http://tfl.nu/mw0u

Replies (0) Good night (848) Bad night (307)

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