I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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