Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around http://tfl.nu/xsf6

Replies (13) Good night (1140) Bad night (2214)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer http://tfl.nu/ip3a

Replies (40) Good night (4164) Bad night (635)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w

Replies (182) Good night (52094) Bad night (2026)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks. http://tfl.nu/ad27

Replies (16) Good night (4315) Bad night (747)
Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you. http://tfl.nu/8i7d

Replies (11) Good night (1110) Bad night (3802)
Favorite
(307): View more from Wyoming

When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(307): When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"! http://tfl.nu/t4t6

Replies (15) Good night (3792) Bad night (854)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move... (412): Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am. http://tfl.nu/4pbg

Replies (13) Good night (5433) Bad night (1559)
Favorite
(587): View more from Alberta

She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(587): She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28. http://tfl.nu/r7ey

Replies (8) Good night (944) Bad night (4263)
Favorite
(204): View more from Manitoba

Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(204): Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus http://tfl.nu/ux11

Replies (9) Good night (2700) Bad night (536)
Favorite
(252): View more from North Carolina

I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(252): I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds http://tfl.nu/g7b7

Replies (5) Good night (918) Bad night (576)
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF? http://tfl.nu/wyh2

Replies (1) Good night (1115) Bad night (382)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun?? http://tfl.nu/lwzi

Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (392)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits http://tfl.nu/njr0

Replies (4) Good night (295) Bad night (887)
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights http://tfl.nu/p5ea

Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (511)
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work. http://tfl.nu/dzc4

Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (170)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: