Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs