i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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