I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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