I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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