I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
