ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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