weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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