I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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