glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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