white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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