Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
