I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize