So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
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i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
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I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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