i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize