WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
honey bunches of taint.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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