Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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