Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
mondays should just be called national damage control day
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
