Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
